A few weeks ago, I shared a post on Instagram about how proud I was of Ben for how he was handling his busy season at work. He has been working 10-11 hour days, coming home smiling, and taking the extra mile to do sweet things like leaving me notes and cooking dinner. I had expected the opposite. I had expected that he would need me, more than ever, to be patient, understanding, selfless, etc. I was in awe!
Last night we went to dinner and hardly spoke the whole time. We went to El Barrio, which can get pretty loud and crowded, so I didn’t think much of our lack of conversation. He stepped outside a couple times to take work related calls, and I remember thinking that he must be so exhausted. I thought about all the effort he puts in, the small things he does during the week to make me smile, how he always thinks of others before himself. Again, just in awe of the person he is!
After dinner, on the walk back to the car, I asked him if he was okay. He told me that he was exhausted, and that since I had been so proud of him for handling work so well, he felt like he couldn’t show me that he was struggling. I quickly assured him that that wasn’t the case, and that I understand completely, but the more I thought about it the more I understood how he felt that way.
I thought I was showing him support and love by telling him how proud I was, but what it eventually did was make him afraid to be anything less than that version of himself. He was afraid to let me down. Everyone wants to be recognized when they exceed expectations, but we need to be told that it is okay to have a bad day, too. It makes perfect sense! I’m so thankful he was able to tell me how he really felt – it reminded me that there are always two people involved in relationships and it’s so important to check in regularly and be aware of what the other person needs, even if you think you already know. Check in with your lover this week…. you never know what you might be missing!
**** Food details: I ordered the Romaine and Lettuce salad with Shrimp (amazing!+so filling) and he had the Ceviche. My salad was so big I saved it and ate it for lunch today (still so fresh and good). I also had the strawberry margarita, which is only available during the summer months! It was more sugary than what I typically like, but overall a good seasonal drink. Luckily, even though our wait was about 25 minutes, we really missed the typical Friday night crowd. They were lined up out the door by the time we were leaving!